One of the things I often advise people who are living in a state of anxiety is to find a relationship that can make them feel better.
You see, the cure for a waste of spirit is not a relationship with the entire world, but a relationship with some particular person.
On the other hand, there’s also no doubt that when you’re depressed or anxious, finding a partner who is patient and willing to be with you as you go through your process of coming to terms with anxiety can be challenging.
There are, inevitably, stresses and strains on the relationship which are a result of your emotional difficulties and challenges.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, because no relationship is free of challenges, but it is helpful to remember that a relationship which keeps you going when you’re feeling anxious in some way may not be a suitable relationship later on. I mean, when you’ve overcome your anxiety and you’re feeling more balanced and emotionally centred.
That said, it’s also entirely possible that when you are in a state of anxiety or emotional need, that you’re somehow “destined” to meet the person with whom you’re going to spend the rest of your life.
This is probably because you’re vulnerable, you’re emotionally open, and you’re ready and able to accept the gifts that somebody can offer you in your time of emotional need.
Whatever the reason, balancing these two factors – the emotional difficulties that can arise, and the emotional rewards of a relationship that will accrue – can be challenging.
There are many cliches around about relationships: for example, people say “she needs to be needed” or “he can only love somebody who is dependent on him” or “they’re codependent”.
In a way I find all of these comments slightly denigrating, if not disparaging. People get together because their emotional needs can be partially or comepltely met by a potential partner. It may or may not be a good thing, but that is how relationships form, even if the need we’re talking about is purely a sexual one!
Now if you happen to be suffering from acute anxiety, or even a high level of social anxiety, to have somebody alongside you can support you as you go through the transitions from here to a state of emotional health and balance is highly desirable and indeed extremely important.
But my motto is “if you’re not growing, then what are you doing?” And in case you don’t know, the answer is you’re standing still – or worse.
Now since we are all in a state of evolution and growth. So it’s entirely reasonable that even people who feel they’re in a “bad way” emotionally can consider themselves to be on a journey. That’s a journey from where they are now to a place of greater expansion, greater personal power, and greater emotional health.
This is entirely natural. So for me, the idea that a relationship is “codependent” or “symbiotic” is fairly meaningless. I prefer very much to see it as a relationship which meets your needs at the present time, and which you might grow out of when you are more emotionally developed.
But, as I said above, it’s also true that while you may find you’re in a relationship now that doesn’t suit you in a year or five years’ time, you may also end the relationship sooner – only to find you made a terrible mistake.
Sometimes it’s necessary to break up a relationship with your partner before you realize that they are in fact the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life!
This is a terrible situation to be in, although it’s a fascinating and important discovery, and an equally challenging way to make it!
If you do discover that you’ve broken up, and this is the worst thing you’ve ever done, and you now want to get your ex partner back, there is hope!
In fact there is more than hope. A system called Text Your Ex Back by Mike Fiore is where your hope lies. He is a guru of relationship advice and has helped many people save their marriages, recover their relationships with their partners, and get their ex back (note that I don’t say get back at their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend!)
He generally restore harmony and relationship health to couples when when they have broken up.
As you can imagine, I’m suggesting that if you have broken up with your ex-partner, or indeed, if you’re on the verge of breaking up with your partner, whether that be an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, you buy Mike Fiore’s program and have a look at it.
There is a huge amount of wisdom in it. He not only explains why people break up, but also shows you how to decide if it’s the worst mistake you’ve ever made, and you want to get your relationship back because you need to get back together with your ex-girlfriend or your ex-boyfriend.
If you do want to get back with your ex partner, it’s important that you have a plan to do this, which in effect means knowing when to approach them, how to approach them, and what to say when you have approached them.
It’s no use stumbling blindly into a renewed relationship based on a dynamic which was established when you were living together or engaged in intimate sexual activity together.
Think about it – you broke up. You need a new and higher level of consciousness. Where you are now is completely different. In short, you need a set of strategies and techniques which will help you overcome the issues which broke you apart as a couple, and give you a foundation for a much stronger and better relationship in the future.
The reality of this situation is that it may be something which makes you whole again, heals your feelings, and assists the delicate tender part of you which is experiencing fear on such a profound level. It may, in short, bring you into a relationship of harmony and joy.
That would certainly be my wish for you! And I believe it’s Mike Fiore’s wish as well – he’s spent his life advising couples on how to re-establish good relationships. (Or how to establish good relationships in the first place if they haven’t had a breakup.)
So he knows what he’s talking about – in my opinion, anyway! LOL.
In short, my suggestion is that if you are in a situation of need, and you don’t have a relationship which is going where you want it to go, or there are signs that you might break up with your partner, then get out there, buy the program. Then, mull it over, act on it, and see where it takes you.
I wish you the best possible luck and good fortune with all your relationships in the future!